- "I got tiger blood, man. My brain...fires in a way that is - I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."
- "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
- “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”
- "I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? If I'm bi-polar, aren't there moments where a guy like crashes in the corner like, 'Oh my God, it's all my mom's fault!' Shut up! Shut up! Stop! Move forward."
- I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."
- On his daily life: "It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view." "It's a polygamy story...All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It's like an organic union of the hearts."
- "That's how I roll. And if it's too gnarly for people, then buh-bye."
- "I probably took more than anybody could survive. ... I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. ... I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
- On his two girlfriends: "You've read about the goddesses, come on. They're an international sensation. These are my girlfriends. These are the women that I love that have completed the three parts of my heart. ... It's a polygamy story. All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It's like an organic union of the hearts."
Pure Awesomeness. Pure Win!